I Can't Play Tennis
by unchaiend
Summary: Inui accidentally causes Eiji and Ryoma to lose their tennis skills. And they're not going to forgive and forget until...(Chapter 3 is up)
1. Immiscible

**1: Immiscible**

"And as usual," Inui said with a manic glint in his glasses, "since you all failed this exercise, enjoy my latest concoction – guaranteed to strengthen your stomach, kidney, pancreas, liver, and any other organ imaginable, muscles."  
  
"WAAAAAAH!" Eiji cried, but it was no good; everyone had to drink up.  
  
"Inui..." Oishi trailed off weakly. "Perhaps you should be more considerate of the team's welfare...."  
  
"I think he is!" Fuji said with more enthusiasm than necessary. "I think you have a real talent, Inui."  
  
If the drink alone wasn't enough to make the regulars throw up, Fuji's comment did the trick nicely.  
  
"....O...Oi..shi..." Eiji mumbled. He weakly tried to make his way to his doubles partner, but before he made it, he fell to his knees and passed out.  
  
"Ha..hahah..." Momoshiro laughed weakly, pointing a shaking finger at the fallen Eiji. "Ei...ji...passed...Mmpf! E..Ech..Echi..zen?"  
  
Ryoma had passed out too, falling over Momoshiro's knees, causing the second year to slump to the ground too.  
  
Tezuka made his way to the small boy in a less-than-straight line. "Is this supposed to happen, Inui?"  
  
Inui frowned. "No...maybe they couldn't take some of the ingredients or something. Oh well. I'll take care of them."  
  
"IIYA DA!!" the rest of the regulars shouted.

-----  
  
"Oi. Oiii...Echizen...okite yo! If you don't wake up in two seconds, I'm going to make you smell Kawamura's socks! I mean, Ryuzaki-sensei will call the ambulance!"  
  
Ryoma opened his eyes to the anxious faces of several Seigaku players. Plus that girl, and her annoying friend.  
  
"Ryoma-kun, daijoubu?" the girl asked anxiously. It irritated him.  
  
"I'm perfectly fine." Ryoma got up, shoved Momoshiro out of the way and made his way to the courts. He couldn't believe he'd actually passed out from Inui's stupid juice. So much time was wasted already.  
  
"Oi, Echizen! Matte yo!"  
  
He ignored the second year's cries and went on his own sweet way.  
  
"Ch'," Momoshiro said as he caught up with the shorter boy. "Y'know, you could've at least thanked that girl and her friend and the rest of your fan club for showing their concern. You really are a brat." Ryoma pointedly ignored him.  
  
"What was in that juice anyway? You've never passed out from Inui's concoctions before. You know, you and Eiji were the only ones who passed out. I wonder why the rest of us didn't."  
  
_What kind of a lame brain wants to pass out from Inui's juice? Momoshiro._ Ryoma laughed inwardly at the joke he had made to himself, and continued ignoring Momoshiro's chatter.  
  
When they reached the courts, Eiji had apparently recovered too as he jumped and joked around.  
  
"Okay, Ryoma, you're up with me," Fuji called.  
  
Ryoma grabbed his racket from where he had left it lying on the court and joined Fuji at the far end.  
  
"I'll let you serve," Fuij called out.  
  
Ryoma nodded and collected a stray ball. He proceeded to serve...and failed.  
  
_Huh? Am I dreaming or something? I can't...hit the ball!_  
  
He tried again...and failed.  
  
Fuji, not missing what was happening, walked in disbelief towards the first year, who was still attempting to serve, and failing to even make racquet and ball connect.  
  
"Are you okay, Ryoma?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.  
  
"Yes," Ryoma growled, and swiped at the ball furiously with his racquet, missing again.  
  
On the opposite side of the court, an anguished howl was heard.  
  
"UNNYAAAAAAAAAA!! What happened to me!! Argh, try that again Kaidoh!"  
  
"I think we have a problem," Fuji commented to himself, seeing that Ryoma was still furiously trying to serve.

------  
  
"I can't play tennis!!" Eiji howled. He turned to Inui and jumped him. "It's all your fault!! What the heck was in that juice!"  
  
"Make it go away, and fast," Ryoma threatened the bespectacled third year with his most electrifying glare.  
  
"Hmm..." Inui mused, looking at his date booklet while shoving off the very unhappy Eiji. "Apparently I've given you the wrong juice. I was experimenting with a new kind of juice yesterday, and I must have mixed some of it into today's juice. Since it isn't miscible, it makes sense that not everyone was affected by-"  
  
"ARRGH! Who cares?!" Eiji yowled as he grabbed Inui's collar. "I want to play tennis!!"  
  
"Hey Horio!" Momoshiro yelled to the first year. "Guess what? You can finally beat Echizen today!"  
  
Ryoma delivered the Killer of all Glares.  
  
Oishi sighed. "I knew it was going too far. What are we going to do, buchou?"  
  
Tezuka glared at Inui. "Inui, get lost and make an antidote. Eiji, Ryoma – 100 laps."  
  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Buchou!! I've suffered enough!! Oishiiiiiiiii tell him!"  
  
Oishi shrugged and grinned weakly at his doubles partner. "If you can't play tennis, you can at least improve your stamina...."


	2. Exchanges

A/N: Arigatou for the reviews!

-----

**2: Exchanges**  
  
"Nyaaa, ochibi.." Eiji panted out as he jogged beside Ryoma, "you're not going to let Inui off just like that are you?"  
  
"Hn. Mada mada da ne."  
  
"So we should work together and plan the ultimate revenge for Inui, nya, ochibi?"  
  
Ryoma considered the proposition carefully. It may be good, in the sense that two heads were better than one. Although of course, HIS head was better than Eiji's.  
  
But Eiji wasn't exactly the cunning mastermind he had in mind. He cringed as Eiji hollered something in his language in some direction he didn't wish to know.  
  
"Nyaa, ochibi...how about it? Come on come on come on pleeeeeeeeeeease...."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, okay."  
  
Eiji was harmless. Besides, with his own planning, they could only come out on top.  
  
-----  
  
"So I'll meet ya a little outside the school gates okay," Eiji whispered dramatically to Ryoma, fortunately attracting attention only from the always-observing Fuji.  
  
Ryoma rolled his eyes and nodded.  
  
"HOI! Oishiiii...wait for meee..." Eiji yelled as he chased after his poor doubles' partner.  
  
Ryoma sighed out loud, hoped he hadn't gotten into anything he didn't want to, and proceeded to the tennis club room, leaving only Tezuka and Fuji behind.  
  
Ah crap. So much for some peace and quiet. That girl was there, waiting for him.  
  
He had nothing against her really. He knew that she did care about him. She always showed concern for him, and at least she wasn't as annoying as that dumb friend of hers who kept screaming his name and drawing unwanted attention towards him. He would even say that she was a nice person.  
  
But this was really a bad time to be accosted by her. He had no wish to speak or explain to her what was going on, or to field the barrage of questions that he was sure would come.  
  
_Should I just ignore her? After all, it's not as if I've never done it before._  
  
As he drew closer, she looked down to her feet.  
  
He walked right past her.  
  
_Looks like she's having one of those 'shyness' attacks again.  
_  
"Ryoma-kun..."  
  
He stopped. "I'm sure it'll be over soon," she said softly, but clearly, their backs towards each other.  
  
Surprised at the lack of questioning and at the total acceptance, Ryoma started and blinked. "Un...yeah. Thanks."  
  
It seemed like years before she finally took the first step, walking away from him. Ryoma then followed suit in the opposite direction, marvelling at how well the encounter had been.  
  
He was beginning to think that he'd had a lot of misconceptions about the girl. She really wasn't that bad after all.  
  
Suddenly, he felt really pissed at Inui for making him lose his tennis skills. She must have watched every single failed attempt of him trying to serve, or trying to return one that afternoon. It sucked to think that she might have pitied him. How humiliating.  
  
_I'm going to kill Inui._  
  
Almost entirely pissed, Ryoma stalked into the tennis club room.  
  
"Yo, Echizen!" Momoshiro called out from where he was sitting, packing his sports bag. "Wanna go and catch a bite? I'm starving!"  
  
"Sorry, Momo-senpai," Ryoma replied curtly as he pulled his shirt over his head. "Gotta meet someone today."  
  
"Great!" Momo said enthusiastically as he dumped some tennis balls out. "We'll go pick up a burger at the usual- what? Did you just say 'Sorry, Momo-senpai, gotta something something...." Momoshiro turned towards the short boy, an incredulous expression on his face.  
  
"Yeah." Ryoma slung his bag over his shoulder and put up a hand as a farewell wave. "Ja."  
  
Momo gaped at the treating back of Echizen Ryoma.  
  
"What're you gaping at," Kaidoh hissed as he untied his shoelaces. "The kid has a right to do other stuff than always hanging out with you. I don't blame him either, sss."  
  
"Urusei na, baka mamushi," Momoshiro retorted, and continued packing his bag.  
  
_Ch'. This is so not fair! I'm so hungry and now I have no one to force to accompany me to eat.  
_  
He took a look at Kaidoh, who somehow sensed it and glared at him.  
  
_No way!_  
  
Just then Eiji and Oishi entered the room.  
  
"Nyaa, I'm late already Oishi....Can you help me tell Fuji that I've gone off first? I gotta do something. Ja!" With that, he was gone.  
  
Oishi blinked. "Wow, that was fast. And weird too. He didn't tell me or Fuji that he had plans earlier. Guess I'll just wait for Fuji and Tezuka."  
  
Stomach growling, Momoshiro got to his feet. "See you guys tomorrow. I've got to fill my stomach before it folds itself out of emptiness."  
  
"Ja," Oishi and a few other second years called out to the retreating second year.  
  
Momoshiro walked quickly out of the building and past the tennis courts towards the school gate.  
  
_Hmm...wonder what it is that Echizen is doing. Maybe he has a date with that Sakuno girl. That's probably it. I'll tease him about it tomorrow._  
  
----  
  
Fuji watched Ryoma walk quickly past the tennis courts, alone.  
  
Then Eiji.  
  
Then Momoshiro.  
  
"That's weird..." he thought aloud, a slight frown on his face.  
  
"What's weird?"  
  
"Oh, nothing," Fuji turned to Tezuka and smiled. "Want to practice some more, or to call it a day?"  
  
"I'm going to lock up," Tezuka answered shortly.  
  
"Okay," Fuji replied sunnily and returned to his musings.  
  
_Funny Echizen and Momoshiro weren't off together. Funny Eiji's gone, he usually waits for me or Oishi.  
_  
Fuji recalled the exchange he'd observed between Ryoma and Eiji and smiled to himself.  
  
_It'll be fun to see what's going to happen in the next few days._


	3. Plotting

A/N: Arigatou for the reviews! This one exceeded 1000 words because I just couldn't stop myself from adding Fuji in. It's important for future developments.  
  
Just a small comment – I sort of like to write in soap opera style. You know, with many scenes, many things going on at any one time, that kind of thing. I haven't reached there yet, but just to warn you that...I might start doing it again without realizing so hope you got no problem with that.

------

**3: Plotting**  
  
"Yosh! Now we're all together, we can start off!" Eiji exclaimed enthusiastically. "I've got a greeeeat idea ochibi! Why not we-"  
  
"Do we HAVE to do it here, Kikumaru-senpai?" Ryoma asked, a hint of irritation evident in his voice.  
  
"But of course!" Eiji replied enthusiastically. "We can't let anyone know! Not even Oishi, because he won't let us do anything bad, even if it's to get Inui! Not even Fuji 'cos he'd spoil the fun! Well, I suppose it's okay if Kawamura knows, but we'd have to run laps forever if word gets to Tezuka about what we're planning! I suppose-"  
  
"In an ALLEY, senpai?"  
  
Eiji grinned sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "The villains always planned their stuff in the back alley..."  
  
"That's for dirt poor villains. The Mafia does it in cool underground chambers. With class. I am NOT going to sit here looking like I'm a criminal."  
  
"But what if we get caught?"  
  
Ryoma glared at him. "Just follow me. I promise you, where we're going, not even that annoying girl will know where we are."  
  
"Um..okay." Eiji bounced up to trail after the shorter freshman. "Where're we going?"  
  
Ryoma smirked. "You'll see. You don't want to get overheard, do you?"  
  
Eiji coloured, and shook his head. After a few seconds, he frowned in deep thought. "Ochibi..."  
  
"What."  
  
"Is this place, like, your secret hideout or something? Is it underground? Or...above ground? Like a treehouse? Coool...I've never had a treehouse! Actually, I've never seen a treehouse. So...is it a treehouse?"  
  
Ryoma gritted his teeth. "No. No. No. No. And no."  
  
"Sou desu ne..." Eiji mumbled, deep in thought.  
  
"You'll see it soon enough, senpai," Ryoma assured him annoyedly.  
  
"Okay!" Eiji grinned. Then he furrowed his brows in deep thought again.  
  
Ryoma groaned inwardly. _Please...don't ask anymore questions! I feel like I'm walking with my dad. Stupid old man.  
_  
"Ne, ochibi..."  
  
Ryoma almost had to hit himself to stop himself from physically shutting his senpai up. "Yes, Kikumaru-senpai."  
  
"Who's the 'annoying girl'?"  
  
Ryoma sighed. It was going to be a long evening.  
  
----

"Ready to go, Oishi?" Fuji asked cheerfully as he entered the tennis club room.  
  
"Yeah. Hold on for a second." Oishi arranged the school racquets carefully where they were kept on neat shelves. "By the way, Fuji....do you know what's up with Eiji today? He told me he got plans, and ran off. I got a feeling something's up with him."  
  
Fuji shrugged and smiled. "Nah, I don't think he's up to anything. Maybe he has to do something, run errands, get a present or something. Don't worry over him."  
  
Oishi smiled ruefully. "Yeah...I guess I tend to overdo it sometimes. Where's Tezuka?"  
  
"Here," Tezuka answered with little enthusiasm as he entered the room.  
  
Fuji smiled to himself._ Best not to let anyone know, ne, Eiji?  
_  
"Oh, yeah! I forgot." Fuji smacked his forehead as if a thought had just occurred to him. Which, it actually had. "I have to go and get something for that brother of mine. He just did well in school, and that's rare, so I gotta get something for him."  
  
"That's great," Oishi commented. "So you guys are okay with each other?"  
  
Fuji shrugged and smiled . "It's a love-hate relationship. I love him, he hates me."  
  
Oishi nodded uncomfortably.  
  
_I knew talking about Yuuta would keep him quiet. That leaves me to do whatever I want today..._  
  
Fuji slung his bag over his shoulder and walked out, putting up his hand as a farewell wave. "Ja."  
  
_Let's see if I can find out what you're up to, Echizen....Eiji._

-----

"You're smart, ochibi!" Eiji crowed happily as he kicked off his shoes. "This is so great! No one will find us! And your room is really cool!" He bounced onto the smaller boy's bed.  
  
Ryoma shrugged and sat himself on his desk chair. "So...as you were saying, senpai?"  
  
"Yeah! I say let's give Inui a taste of his own medicine! We'll cook up something really disgusting for him. That'll show him how we, the regulars of Seigaku, have suffered!"  
  
Ryoma shook his head. "Not good enough. A lot of things could go wrong with that. We could kill him by accident, and I don't want to go to jail yet. And besides, even if we didn't end up killing him, it's not punishment enough."  
  
Eiji stared at Ryoma with a look of pure astonishment. "Hidoi na, ochibi..."  
  
Ryoma glared at him. "It's not cruelty. We should make him suffer like we did."  
  
Eiji nodded slowly. "Yeeeeah...It was really embarrassing when I couldn't serve! Or return the ball! And I kept falling flat on my face!"  
  
Ryoma tried not to roll his eyes.  
  
Eiji suddenly sat straight up. "I've got it! We'll really embarrass him by getting him, say, a secret admirer! We could pose as his 'admirer' by sending letters and stuff, and he'll think it's for real, and then after that he'll be really embarrassed when he finds out!"  
  
Ryoma shook his head. "Mada mada da ne. I think Inui-senpai doesn't really care about that sort of thing."  
  
Eiji tilted his head, deep in thought. "How do you know that? If you say that, the only thing that he cares about is his data. Stupid little book."  
  
Ryoma stopped short. "That's it."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"We'll take his data book. He'll die."  
  
"Ooooh, great idea ochibi! But..." Eiji frowned, "what if he needs his data book?"  
  
"That's the whole point."  
  
"To make us the cure?"  
  
"Oh....that's true." But Ryoma couldn't resist toying around with the data book idea. "Surely there's something we can do with that book."  
  
He thought.  
  
Eiji thought.  
  
They both thought....and somebody's stomach rumbled.  
  
Eiji grinned sheepishly. "Sorry...I'm starving."  
  
Ryoma sighed, and they both went to look for food.  
  
-----  
  
"Hey, Momoshiro!"  
  
Momoshiro turned. It was Fuji, smiling cheerfully at him.  
  
"You're alone? Where's Tezuka?" Momoshiro asked as Fuji drew closer.  
  
"You make it sound like we're joined at the hip. Although I don't really mind that," Fuji commented happily, smirking inwardly at the look of fear that crossed Momoshiro's face.  
  
_Wonder what it was that had him grossed. The thought of me and Tezuka together, or the idea of being joined at the hip with me?_  
  
"Hee..heee.." Momoshiro smiled weakly.  
  
"Where's Echizen? You two are usually together," Fuji said casually.  
  
Momoshiro shrugged, trying to ignore the chills that ran up and down his spine. "I really don't know. Anyway, senpai, gotta run. See you tomorrow!" And he ran off.  
  
Fuji smiled at his retreating back. _Guess my luck ran out, Echizen. Maybe Eiji will be easier to tackle. _


End file.
